Today is a special birthday to celebrate. I've been waiting so many years for this birthday, but the wait was truly in God's time. Today, I celebrate my first birthday as a mommy. It's a different celebration than what I had originally planned when I was pregnant, but it's still an important day for me. It means that because I was born, so now Daniel was born. My birth back in 1985 led to Daniel's birth in November. It makes my birth so much more meaningful and gives me a tangible purpose for life.
As I reflect on the past year, I am humbled that God carried me through it. Last year, I celebrated the big 3-0 and was so excited to see what my 30s had in store for me. I was prayerful that I would be a mommy and last March my dreams were confirmed. Spending the past year planning for a baby, decorating our nursery, and growing in faith are wonderful memories. This past year held so much joy and love, yet also pain and sorrow. My daily sadness for Daniel's passing is imminent, but I don't allow myself to focus on it. Instead, I focus on all the joy from this past year of life. I reflect on my growing belly and how Bill and I laughed often at how big it continued to grow. I think about Daniel's kicks and moves that flopped my belly around and stretched my stretchmarks. I recall the excitement on Bill's face when he felt Daniel kicking for the first time, and how much Daniel began kicking and moving at the sound of Bill's voice each day when he came home. Bill and I often discuss our excitement of becoming parents and making the perfect place for our new baby by choosing the perfect wallpaper border and furniture for his nursery. I can honestly say that my first year in my 30s was the best year of my life; it gave me Daniel. As I celebrate my first birthday as a mommy, I reflect on how blessed and humbled I am that God chose me to be Daniels's mommy this year. Daniel has made this birthday a special one for me because he gave me the best gift I could ever get, him.
I became a mommy in 2015 to a beautiful baby boy, Daniel John, who taught me the depth of a mother's love and the sorrow of neonatal infant loss.