When people say "a baby changes everything", it is true in all circumstances. For those parents who have lost a baby, it changes your whole world, or at least it did for us. I look at my empty crib and sit in our quiet nursery each day thinking of this time without him. I read books aloud without a baby in my arms listening to my voice. I look over his clothes laying in his crib with no baby to dress and too much sadness to put them away. Most people have empathy with the suffering pain a mommy encounters, but some unfortunately do not. For some, it is difficult to understand the feeling of loss and pain that parents feel after their baby is gone. And most parents don't want people to feel their pain; they simply want compassion in acknowledging their child's life. The sequence of life events is thrown out of sync when your baby passes away before you. So the only thing to hang onto is their memory and the signs they show you of their presence around you. I look at my son and want people to remember him and his story of hope and faith. I want people to see the grace with which we carried him and respect his life. All I can ask is that others have dignity in respecting him as a beautiful baby that was born to parents who waited so long to hold a baby in their arms. All we have ever wanted is for Daniel to be treated with the same love and respect that every baby receives. We have never wanted him treated differently in regards to how things are done, although we know his life has been so much more meaningful than most babies of his time. No matter what events surround your baby's birth, no one can ever stand in the way of a mommy's love for her child. My love for Daniel is so deep and my love for him will carry me through even the toughest battles. Nothing can ever counter the power of a mommy's love for her son.
I became a mommy in 2015 to a beautiful baby boy, Daniel John, who taught me the depth of a mother's love and the sorrow of neonatal infant loss.